The other day, I was speaking to a group about the importance of listening skills. And, true to form, I ended up getting into 3 different discussions where I found myself doing most of the talking and very little listening. FAIL.

I find this true as well with marriage advice. It’s easy to dish out, hard to swallow when you’re on the receiving end.

Scripture often distinguishes between intention and action, faith and deeds, hearing and doing. Since our behavior is often the proof of what we really believe, I often test my own heart with this question: “What’s keeping me from doing what I just said?” The answers tend to be very revealing, exposing my heart’s true desires.

Good thing Christ never asked us to just “keep trying harder”. His solution is simple, in fact.

“Apart from me, you can do nothing.”

Is it possible that in the areas where we find things easier said than done, at least as it affects our own actions and decisions, these are the very same areas where we are “apart from Him”? Something to definitely think about.

Do you have God in sight today?

Today, my team and I discussed several of the points she raised in the first part of her book. I really enjoy processing new ideas with my team. Their insights and perspectives are very helpful to my own learning.

Here’s one of the questions from the book Kim raised that we worked on:

“If I evaluated the last three communication pieces I created, how much was simple and succinct? How much was detail overkill?”

Chique (our resident copy editor) had an interesting insight about how Filipino culture plays a role in our tendency to clutter our communication that got me thinking. We do tend to beat around the bush a lot. Me, I think I’ve got comm overkill down to a science. Which is why I’ve got A LOT to learn.

What about you, any communications pieces you worked on recently? Was the piece cluttered or was the message communicated clearly?

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Silly story… I was talking with Joe one time discussing his engagement. I said, “wow, Joe! congratulations. and you’re still so young!” (Joe’s 26). He asked me, “how old were you when you got married?” Me: “26… O… wait… I got married at your age… you’re not young na pala!”

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Preparing for today’s activities, I can’t help but recall my own wedding day… December 13, 2004. Good times, loved every bit of it, many guests came to us afterwards talking about how they “felt God’s presence” in the ceremony, which was something Belle and I prayed for so we were very happy to hear their feedback.

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A few relationships/engagement/marriage advice I’ve been given along the way:

- “It’s good to get married. Get married as soon as you can.” Jay Duque, you were a messenger from heaven the day you told me that. I was contemplating letting Belle know my feelings for her just the day before.

- “Let her (Belle’s) Dad know, during your wedding, that he’s giving his daughter to a man who he can trust will take care of her as well as he did.” Thanks, Pastor Joey. I never forgot your pre-wedding advice. I still apply this today.

- “Happy wife, happy life.” Thanks Robert Hern for this one. it has saved me from many “happy life”-threatening moments. and thanks for offering your extra room in case i forget to apply this.

- “We’re here for you two.” Thanks Edgar and Jeng Gorre, Paolo and Jenn Punzalan, for opening your homes and hearts to us so that Belle and I could see how marriage worked. We learned the immense value of having couples who could speak into our situations, and to help break any discussion deadlocks.

- “My DAD will take care of you.” This, I heard so distinctly in my heart. This came from Christ. Here’s the context…

A few days before having to pay our first wedding-related bill (the venue), I was in bed, my stomach in knots, stressed over where I’d get the money. I couldn’t sleep! Then in my heart, Jesus, in that still small voice that I’ve come to love and depend on, whispered these “encouraging” (to me, they were more like very, very, very scary) words: “My DAD will take care of you.”

You’d think that hearing that would comfort me, right? Far from it. I tried to negotiate, so that could get things done my way:

“Lord, I know that. But could I please have the money now so I wouldn’t have to be so stressed?” Yeah, right! Translation: “I don’t believe it until I see the money in the bank. Your word isn’t enough, money in my hand right now is better.”

Yes, I know I’m a pastor. That doesn’t exempt me from tests of faith.

His answer? “My DAD will take care of you.” And that was it. I had no alternative. Just as I had learned to trust His Word in the past, I clung to those words like a mountain climber hanging on for dear life to a rock crevice and with no lifeline. An hour later, I fell asleep. That was 2AM.

The next day, after work, Belle comes to me worried about the bill, asking me what we were going to do. With all the faith and confidence I could muster (which wasn’t much, I must admit), I held her hand, looked her in the eye, and told her, “My DAD will take care of us.” I don’t know if it helped Belle or not, but it was the best I could do at the time.

The day before the payment was due, my Lord’s DAD really did take care of us, and took care of the bill. An unexpected gift came in from an unexpected individual. The gift? A check with an amount big enough to cover the venue. And that was just the first time that happened. On our wedding, I wrote out checks to all our suppliers, paid them in full, and had enough to spare for a decent honeymoon. Belle and I started our new life together without getting into debt. Our DAD took care of us.

And He still does, not just financially, mind you. I can’t imagine how my marriage would be without God in the center of it. That’s probably the biggest and most critical lesson I’ve learned in my entire life.

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/nation/view/20100127-249791/Group-launches-program-to-save-RP-education

What are your thoughts on this?

“Wisdom in relationships is relating with others the way Christ relates with us.”

- Michael Paderes